The Continued Ramblings of a Frustrated High School Student

by Joseph

Our current assignment for English is to rewrite Shakespeare. Why, you ask, fucking why? Why is an entire grade at an Australian school being forced to mutilate not only art but what is quite probably the basis for all modern culture? To make it more relevant and understandable to modern audiences. A friend of mine raised the point to me, after, upon this announcement I got into an argument with the Head of Department for English over the matter, the reason we’re studying Shakespeare is because it’s relevant.

Shakespeare was a complete fucking genius. Even if you can’t understand a word of it while reading, the words themselves, together, are beautiful. There is a poetry to Shakespeare that is truly eternal. Shakespeare was probably the most intelligent and brilliant literary mind of all time. Because of this his writing was so profound that it reflected and depicted eternal human experiences and emotions. To suggest for a minute that anyone re-write Shakespeare is obscene, but to do so to make it more relevant is outright retarded.

If you can’t understand Shakespeare when you see it performed, you are too stupid to live. The point is, no one should be made to violate art for no reason, even more so if it’s just because someone’s parents were cousins. And that is why I will probably willingly fail English this semester.